Hidden Voice

Draft

In our language there is a saying: Ndiwelimilambo enamagama (I have crossed famous rivers). It means that one has travelled and, in the process, gained much experience. Indeed, I had since 1934 been crossing important rivers of my country: Mbashe, Great Kei, Orange and the Vaal. I had seen new places and new faces, absorbed new ideas and renounced old ones.

Mandela, Nelson. “Long Walk to Freedom.” Little, Brown and Company,1994, pg 59

Immense vibration, the shaking and creaking of metal. Was this me or was this the plane? I still recall sitting there flying thousands of feet above the ocean with a sense of fear. Fear for what was to come, where this journey would lead me, who I would become through this. But most of all fear of the unfamiliar cultural and social aspect of this new world. I remember striking up a conversation with an older lady a few rows down from me when I got up about why she is flying to the United States and internally screaming because what she was saying though a simplistic conversation was to me challenging. The kid who speaks multiple languages, the kid who thrived on new experiences. What happened to me? This was a rude awaking, in the moment I was unable to project and conversate without frustration. It was the first time in my life I felt inadequate when it came to conversing. The embarrassment of constantly having to ask for clarification was truly a mortifying experience.

Scurrying back to my seat, I remember the feeling of embarrassment but overall, a feeling of curiosity. Curiosity for this new way of speaking the very language I have spoken all my life. Wondering why if we both speak the same why was it so different what changed that so drastically altered the way in which we were able to communicate. I recall looking through the movies I had never seen before on the screen in front of me and turning on The Smurfs. The weird blue creatures in the big apple; for me this was America, this was what I knew but watching it I remember truly for the first time listening to the way people spoke what they said and how they said it and it was fascinating.  Though at the time I may not have understood that this new way of perceiving speech as a whole, sparked a deep internal passion and desire to understand humanity and the way it socially functions and interacts while allowing for the differences within not only cultural background but speech itself.

As I sit here and write this, I can’t help but to feel a sense of remembrance and pride of where I have come from in that moment. Throughout my life since moving to the United States of America, I have had to take a step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself to not only just listen but to truly internalize the context behind the conversations I have on a day-to-day basis. To take into consideration that though I was raised in a different culture, with different social constructs, I strived to continue to push myself into interactions that allowed me to flourish with my capacity to communicate. I found passion in communication; though the plane interaction was a small moment in time it had greater impact with regards to me learning that not everyone speaks the same way in the context of the drastic cultural difference in my case between the way South Africans communicate with each other compared to the communication style of Americans.

            As I have gotten older, I have had to challenge myself to develop methods of putting myself in the context of others. To see the world in the light in which I am uncomfortable which for me may not be the easiest as I am extremely proud of who I am and what I believe. I have found passion in education and the complexities in which allows me to academically challenge myself not only through writing but for my specific focus of Political Science, through written and verbal communication and cultural understanding. This shift towards understanding not only how people function as a whole and the very systems that drives them but how we as society communicate with one another a whole. Politics is a dirty field, full of obstacles and thought inducing debates. However, it is the very lively hood of us all in the United States. It allows for us to challenge what we see as unjust or unfit or to challenge the constructs in which we believe about specific things for example immigration and the many different cultural dialects that come along with them. This is my passion it has allowed me to set a goal for my future and how I want to go about it. To understand that my background only substantiates my knowledge of langue and speech and is a tool in which though I may face challenges along the road I will be able to persist and fight for what I want. That for me is becoming a politician so I can intact change on a national level and inspire people to look past their differences and understand and appreciate them.