Throughout the development process of this essay, I initially started with a very broad view in my first paragraph which after peer review and my professors, I was able to reign this in by adding more clear and concise details such as with regards my interests and passions. As we proceed throughout the paragraphs within the essay you are able to see the elements of personal detail and relatable context that has been added in within the final essay for example when talking of my experience as a child on my school trip to Robben Island. This initially sounded more like a historical book report which I refined into a more personal leaning piece by changing the phrasing within and adding personal additions such as my own core memories and why these memories stuck with me.

            Overall, the feedback I was provide allowed me to challenge myself on the concept of personalization. The essay overall was more historically based than a personal based essay in which the feedback allowed for me to expand my horizons and understand that there is a delicate balance between adding supporting personal stories and rambling on about history and the effects of it in a broad sense rather than on my own personal journey.